Thinking deeper about it, are there really bad emotions? Are the emotions itself bad or is it the way these emotions are expressed that are bad?

Anger is often dropped into the box of negative emotions without a second thought. We may consider it as such because of the experiences and perceptions we have when someone is angry or when we were angry. It is an emotion just like joy but when we feel joy, we would experience feeling of bliss and contentment. Whereas when we experience anger, it is a heightened feeling of uneasiness.

When we are angry, we have two choices which is to react or respond. Although they might seem the same, they are two different approaches. If we choose to respond, it will be to pause and think before acting. This gives us breathing space to evaluate the situation and allow the expression of the emotion in an appropriate way. Whereas, if we react, it is instantaneous. That can lead to destruction or long-lasting impact through our words or actions.

Responding is highly appreciated as it saves us the risk of passive aggressive behavior wherein, we indirectly express our emotions through withdrawal, sulking or refusal. Another way of communicating our emotion is by being assertive where we express our opinions clearly and firmly, while not hurting the other person.

Therefore, it is essential for us to reflect on our emotions and learn the art of channeling our anger effectively rather than letting it explode. Anger can definitely be expressed better if we moderate it to our advantage. So let us look at the few ways we can reflect and express our anger as a response rather than a reaction.

3-Dimensional Anger Management Strategy

This strategy would help you identify your emotions, calm yourself and increase situational awareness:

  • Deep Breaths: Anger often leads to shortness of breath or heavy breathing which is also a sign of anxiety. Breathing exercises help to calm the nerves and aids rational thinking. Deep breathing and stretching can help you vent out repressed negative energy.
  • Drink water: Negative emotions can lead to bodily symptoms like dehydration and increase in body temperature. Drinking water sip-by-sip helps in bringing down the increased body temperature and rehydrating is crucial in rational thinking.
  • Distraction: Bring yourself away from the situation / environment that triggered extreme emotions. It provides a space for positive distractions and time to reflect better on your own response and process information.

B-R-E-A-T-H-E

This other management strategy would help you to reflect on your patterns of expressing anger and let you channel your anger towards something more productive instead.

  • Beware: Start connecting with your emotions and how it is making you feel internally. This helps you become more aware of yourself, your thoughts, and feelings.
  • Recognize: Identify and know your triggers. Introspect if you have experienced them before and if you have, ask yourself how you dealt with it.
  • Embrace: Most of us tend to live in denial or neglect our feelings to portray a stronger image of ourselves. But it is important to embrace your feelings and accept the emotion we are experiencing.
  • Attentive: Be attentive to yourself, and to the cues your body is giving you as well as to the people around you.
  • Train: It’s important for us to train our mind and body to synchronize so that we can express on the outside how we feel on the inside.
  • Help: Seek help if you are not able to conquer your emotions well.
  • Empathetic: Being empathetic to yourself and others around you fosters greater empathy of others’ personalities, feelings, backgrounds, and styles.


Our emotions can do no harm unless we wish to let them out in a way that does. Anger isn’t bad until we unleash it negatively. If we unleashed anger positively, it can be a motivating factor to do more which could result in goodness and achievement.

If you are feeling any anger that you find yourself unable to cope with or understand. Please feel free to approach Ms. Harshali Kotekar or Ms. Glenda Gilbert D’silva, our in-house psychologists, for a little chat.