Anger is an emotion which becomes evident in the moment of displeasure or disappointment. It is much easier to express various negative feelings through anger rather than identifying where the feeling stems from. Anger, frustration, irritation are also common feelings in many situations, such as a long tiring day, or disagreements.

Something we must understand is that anger is an emotion like any other and we have the choice to express and deal with it in a conscious manner. One must take steps to ensure that they are not allowing themselves to be controlled by the emotion, which may lead to external outbursts, but instead controlling the emotion and finding a resolution to the feelings.

Let’s say one of your co-workers’ habits are annoying and having them around makes you feel angry. Over time you may find yourself beginning to lose your grip and say something demeaning or insulting to them. You could also lose your calm and become restless or agitated internally.

Doing any of that above is just an expression of your anger not a resolution. Resolutions can be for you and the co-worker coming together to talk it out, or you simply accept it as part of their nature. Either way, it is important to realise that we cannot expand our control over others. Instead, we should strive to control how we react to these emotions that we feel because of their behaviour.

Knowing the source of your anger aids in most cases and your own response methods can be worked on to ensure external sources have less control to trigger you.

If you find yourself getting angry often over various matters, out of all the matters at hand, ask yourself what are the two matters that you allow yourself to lose your happiness over and try to find a resolution. Choose your battles wisely.

Here you can take-up a small exercise:

  • How often you do you see yourself getting angry? For example, 2-3 times in a day over minor issues or may be 1-2 times in a month over significant matter.
  • How do you conduct yourself when you feel angry? For example, I show irritation, I walk off, I hold on to grudges, I rebel, or I calm myself and continue along.
  • Let’s say you were angry or upset about something significant. Jot down how your method of addressing the issue at hand resolved the situation or complicated the matter further.


Remember that anger is a way of expression, not the resolution of the situation at hand. Taking actions in anger is not going to solve the matter but addressing the situation in an effective manner is going to be of help.

If you or someone you know are struggling with anger, please approach our in-house counsellors, Ms. Harshali Kotekar (hr2@executiveship.com) and Ms. Glenda D’Silva (welfare2@samundra.com) for a more in-depth chat on management strategies.