Yet another day-to-day emotion that has its role in our life on various occasions. Let us first understand the difference between Jealousy and Envy and the fine line that separates them.

Jealousy vs Envy

Jealousy is a feeling of unhappiness or anger that arises when what you have or what you have been enjoying is being threatened.

Envy is the feeling that you have when somebody else has something that you desire for.

It is normal to feel upset, angry, or disappointed when someone has something that we desire and put continuous efforts towards achieving it but to no avail. Both jealousy and envy are negative feelings where jealousy involves a lot of resentment and hostility, while envy is a mix of admiration and discontent that involves less hostility. While jealousy is led by envy, envy may not always result in jealousy.

Jealousy often leads to a feeling of insecurity and unhealthy competition. A person experiencing jealousy often engages in behaviours that are toxic like emotionally, mentally, or physically hurting someone, backbiting, playing politics, etc.

Let’s say, you have been enjoying great rapport with one of your colleagues, then another person joins in. He/she starts bonding with the same colleague and they become closer in a short time. Now, you feel threatened that you will be valued less. You begin to feel insecure, angry and engage in actions that are inappropriate. These actions can be like playing politics to ensure your place is secured and his/her reputation is tarnished.

On the other hand, when we talk of envy, envy is a mix of unhappiness and admiration, but you are often able to rationalise between harmful and benign actions. The unhappiness stems from you not being able to achieve what you want but still feel admiration towards a person who has earned it over time to be in that position.

Envy is a subtle emotion that we experience in many situations. I feel envious because of how confident he/she presents themselves. I feel envious he/she can socialize and connect with all ranks respectfully as a Junior Officer. I feel envious that my sibling does things on their own terms, and so on. The affected person is feeling bad, sulking, disliking the person they envy but not taking extreme measures to hurt the person in any capacity, unlike in jealousy.

When dealing with these feelings, consider:

  • Triggers and the severity of the feeling i.e., jealousy vs envy.
  • Likes and dislikes about the other person considering both aspects i.e., how do you approach someone when you like and dislike them? This will help you reflect on your unfair and bias approaches.
  • Steps to work on yourself to achieve what you have been desiring and getting a reality check e.g., You desire to own a lavish house, but in the present situation you have certain liabilities that is delaying your goal for months or years. Either that, or you desire to be comfortable in social situations and develop bonds with seniors. But as an individual, you either feel low in confidence often or you are reserved by nature. So, think about what simple consistent effort you are able to start putting in so that a few months down the line, you are able to improve yourself.


Emotions are part of us, we as humans will experience a multitude of emotions time and again. But how we choose to work on those emotions is a choice we need to make frequently. You can decide to feel anger, insecurity, vulnerability etc., and thus create a negative space for yourself, or you may choose to learn and improve to become a better version of yourself.

Experiencing all these emotions doesn’t make you a bad individual but continuing to indulge it and opting for destructive behaviours makes it inappropriate. What you choose to do is what defines your humility (the willingness to accept mistakes and change for good).

With that, we have come to the end of the Identifying Negative Emotions series, the complexity and comprehensiveness of human emotions cannot be summarised within these few articles.

If you require any enlightenment on your own emotions or that of a loved one, please do not hesitate to consult our in-house counsellor, Harshali Kotekar.