Somedays, it is a minor regret where it feels like starting something 5 minutes earlier would have everything fall into place. On other days, the regret may be larger where it feels like expressing your thoughts and feelings or standing for what you believe in could have averted damage.

Eventually, we learn to live with our regrets. But everyone has a different way of living with it. How you choose to live with these regrets decides the course of your life i.e., many of your present choices are based on past regrets.

Regret is often associated with strong emotions like guilt, shame, hopelessness, disappointment, nervousness. The impact of these emotions in the short and long run explains your learning or blaming attitude towards yourself or others.

If you find that your intrapersonal dialogues after experiencing regret are as follows:

  • You cannot get simple things right.
  • You are not an effective and resourceful person.
  • Your decision-making or judgement is poor.


This is a blaming attitude that we typically refer to as the blame game. These kinds of self-critical and demeaning thoughts can lead to suffering and low confidence. Meanwhile, if your intrapersonal dialogue is more thoughtful and corrective like the below:

  • Tomorrow onwards I will start 5 minutes earlier to avoid getting stuck in the traffic and start the day in a constructive way.
  • My judgment in evaluating that event or situation was affected by my ignorance to consider weak point or reg flags.
  • I need to be introspective of practical aspects and needs while making decisions.


These types of thoughtful and forward-thinking intrapersonal dialogues can lead to corrective measures which will transform a blaming attitude into a learning one. Negative experiences like mistakes, failures, rejections and regrets are inevitably part of human existence. How we as individuals decide to look forward and navigate these setbacks define your focus on bouncing back and learning from it.

Here are some ways you can learn from your regrets to make better decisions:

  • Reflect: Your decisions in the present are either based on learning from regrets or the product of guilt, shame, and blame from regrets. The first step to improving is to correct your perspective towards regrets. Learn to learn from past regrets and when you learn from them, evaluate how much better you have become over time.

  • Remember: Decisions are intuitive by nature and based on anticipations, experiences, circumstances. It is not every single time that one is going to be 100% accurate in decision-making. Some decisions lead to contentment and some lead to regret.

  • Mindset: We may make mistakes and regret them but don’t let one mistake define you. Don’t forget to consider the good decisions that have also resulted in successes. Each and every one of us is a work in progress, there is always room to do better than yesterday. Shift your mindset to embrace the multifaceted emotions that decisions bring—be it regrets or contentment.


If you or someone you know are struggling with regrets and need help unpacking your thoughts, please feel free to contact our in-house counsellors, Ms. Harshali Kotekar at hr2@executiveship.com and Ms. Glenda D’Silva at welfare2@samundra.com.