Self-Sabotaging Language

It refers to the thoughts and statements that weaken our confidence and increase self-doubt. This may happen automatically and gradually over time.
Examples:
‘There’s no point trying, I’ll make mistakes anyway’ (Hopelessness)
‘If I ask for help, people will judge me’ (Self-limiting)

These thoughts may seem harmless initially, but they often influence behavior negatively. A person who constantly doubts themselves may begin to avoid responsibilities, hesitating to communicate openly, withdrawing socially, or becoming excessively fearful of mistakes.

Rumination

Rumination refers to repeatedly thinking about the same concerns, mistakes, or stressful situations without reaching a solution. It involves mentally replaying problems over and over again.
Examples:
‘Why did I say or do that?’ (Guilt)
‘I should have handled that differently’ (Regret)

Rather than moving towards resolution, mind continues to replay situations long after they are over, making it difficult to mentally switch off or recover emotionally.

Negative self-interaction raises stress, lowers confidence, hinders relaxation, impact decision making and performance. In many cases, persistent negative thinking can also be closely linked with anxiety. Anxiety causes brain to remain alert for possible risks, criticism, or future problems.

Sometimes the mind begins to believe that constant worrying is necessary to stay prepared or avoid mistakes. However, chronic worry often creates greater mental strain instead of improving control or performance.

Developing Healthier Self-Talk and Inner Dialogue

A healthier relationship and interaction with oneself do not mean ignoring problems or remaining overly positive all the time. It means learning to respond to difficulties with greater balance and self-awareness.

  • Recognising Negative Patterns: Becoming aware of self-critical thought pattern is the first step towards change. Tough times can make us unreasonable. Notice, are you only revolving around the problem or are you able to work through the solution?
  • Challenging Extreme Thoughts: Replacing words such as ‘always’, ‘never’, or ‘completely’ with more realistic perspectives can reduce emotional intensity. These words indicate generalization tendencies. Stay focused on the details and specifics of the event or situation.
  • Separating Mistakes from Self-Worth: Making mistakes does not define a person’s competence or worth. Are you blaming the person or the action/decision that didn’t work well?
  • Reducing Mental Overthinking: Not every thought requires deep analysis, learning when to let thoughts pass can reduce rumination. Analyse if overthinking is leading to increased self-blaming tendencies or helping to learn, correct and keep moving in life.
  • Staying Emotionally Connected: Speaking with trusted colleagues, family members, or mental health professionals can help reduce emotional isolation.
  • Prioritising Rest: Lack of sleep and nutritional deficiencies can cause negative thinking or disorientation.


If you or a fellow seafarer are facing challenges while onboard, please feel free to reach out to the in-house counsellors, Ms. Harshali Kotekar (hr2@executiveship.com) and Ms. Glenda D’Silva (welfare2@samundra.com).