As we noticed, the peculiar characteristics of high conflict people are putting blames on others, all or nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions and extreme behaviours. High conflict people are highly emotionally dysregulated. They operate on extremes and can be seen impulsive at minor discomfort. They function in a comfort bubble they have created for themselves and anything happening out of it causes them severe discomfort making them hyper reactive.

High conflict people have a history of dysfunctional childhood experiences and unhealthy social conditioning patterns while in many cases personality issues can be a developmental issue too. Physical health conditions are much simpler to explain and hence can be diagnosed and treated well while mental health conditions still lack awareness at deeper levels and many a times personality disorders which forms a base for high conflict people are overlooked.

So, here is why high conflict people behave like this:

  • Emotional Dysregulation: People who are high in conflict would show signs of failing to manage their emotions. They would be seen bursting out in anger, frustration and pain and most important it’s seen being spilled on other people because as we know they often operate on blame-culture. Furthermore, clinical research highlights that this can manifest psychological disorders such as borderline personality disorder where it’s difficult to regulate their emotions effectively.
  • Cognitive Distortion: As a high conflict people exhibit all or nothing thinking. For example, a slight misunderstanding can lead to a full-blown argument. This cognitive distortion doesn’t allow the person the space to respond or compromise.
  • Defensive Mechanisms: They tend to rely on the following defence mechanism such as projection (attributing their own feelings or faults to others) or denial (refusing to accept reality). This prevents them from taking accountability of their actions and helps them protect their fragile self-esteem.

With the above we understand why they behave now, let’s understand who are at high risk:

Personality Disorders:

1. Individuals with BPD (borderline personality disorder) would exhibit extreme emotions, they would be seen expressing difficult interpersonal relationships and unstable self-image. They are prone to feel misunderstood and abandoned.

2. Similarly, someone with a Narcistic Personality Disorder has an inflated sense of self-importance and they require excessive admiration. They tend to blame, lack empathizing and would manipulate to maintain their superiority and this affects the environment on board.

3. A person with Antisocial Personality Disorder would be seen disregarding the rules and regulations and manipulations in nature. They may engage in deceitful behaviour for personal gains. The personality disorders influence the behaviour of the person, and it can make the onboard environment toxic.

Chronic stress and environmental factors:

Isolation: While there’s a cut off from people, it would be seen that they may feel vulnerable, threatened, abandoned and loneliness. This would show impulsiveness and blame others.

High stress situation: high stress situations like demanding or inexperienced ones can exacerbate pre-existing tendencies towards high-conflict behaviour. Especially someone with unresolved traumas and prior difficulties may become prone to high conflict behaviour.

Unresolved issues: People living with unresolved traumas, past baggage may lead to suppression of emotions. Certain conditions such as family problems, financial problems, relationship issues do project their frustrations on their colleagues.

In the next article, we will be seeing how to cope with them and maintain harmony on board.

If you or someone you know find yourself in such a situation, please feel free to confide in our in-house counsellors Ms. Harshali Kotekar (hr2@executiveship.com) and Ms. Glenda D’Silva (welfare2@samundra.com). Rest assured all consultations are kept completely confidential.